Maybe That's Just Me

Dark room, though the lights are shining bright

Empty road, though cars are everywhere

Gloomy sky, though the sun is shining

Silent surrounding, though people are passing by

Maybe the world really is black and white

But maybe that's just in my head

Maybe that's just me

All I see is black and white

And red

A Warm Re-welcome

Wooooo it's been almost 2 years! 

Been busy with real life.

yea that's so believable. 

If you think that  I'm..

no longer cynical, i don't think we've met

no longer skeptical, you're wrong

no longer sarcastic, you seem to don't really know me

no longer stubborn, you really really don't know me

no longer a jerk, you can just leave this page now

I have not changed, and I don't actually want to.

Therefore, don't expect me to.

The hell with new year's resolutions.

A Suitcase of Memories

I'm leaving tomorrow.

Yes, leaving Jakarta. Leaving the people I've known for the last 4 years. Leaving the room I've been living in. I've wondered about this, very long time ago. How would it feels like when the time comes and I've got to go. I said to myself back then that I'd be glad. My future self wouldn't have to live in this crappy place with all its shit anymore. I was wrong.

I'd be lying if I say I won't miss living alone. I love being alone. There's something about it that comforts me. Maybe because I've felt alone long before I live alone, being actually alone is somehow bearable and fun in its own way. The thing I love the most about it is the fact that I don't have to feel like shit everyday. Got no people shouting at me telling me how to feel, forcing me to do this and that, trying to live their life through mine. God gave me what I've been wishing for years, less pressure. And I'm gonna miss this room, with its ghosts and everything.

Here, I've met some people who have become my dearest ones. You have no idea how amazing they are, how unbelievably grateful I am to have them in my life. They're the ones who have stood by me, brave enough to say it to my face every time I screwed up, every time I hurt their feelings. I know I can be very mean. I'm a jerk but they never leave me. They know that I'm doing the best I can to be a great friend for them too. And I also got haters, and they're cowards! hahaha dude, you call yourselves men yet you don't even have the guts to tell me you hate me? Instead, you tweeted it. GOOD GOD! Go tell your parents that they have failed raising their child. Seriously. Tell them or I will.

I've got awesome lecturers, too. Pak Fredy, best Head of (Computer Science) Department you could ask for. He asked me about what happened between me and Gatot, instead of judging me like some lecturers I know. I replied him with a 3-paragraph-long message and he actually read it. He replied saying that Gatot doesn't know me as well as he does. I can't thank him enough. Ci Yen, I feel like giving her a big hug right now. She's done so much for me, especially these last 10 months. Also, the rest of the Department staff. Big thanks for all their help through these years.

I still have a long journey ahead of me. I know I'm gonna be brave enough to walk into the tunnel of uncertainty, not knowing what's waiting for me on the other side. And I know every time I look back, I'll always be grateful. I've walked down an amazing road, with its bumps and everything, but still great.

So I'm leaving, with a suitcase full of memories. I'm carrying you with me, 4 years. I'm taking you everywhere I go. Let's just hope my forgetful mind wouldn't leave you in some Taxi. Because I don't think they have 'Lost and Found' for your kind of suitcase.

(photo taken from here)

P.S. :

hey, my 18 y.o self, you thought I'd be miserable, eh? I'm not. :)

25.02.2011

I'm turning 22 today. 22!! shit, i'm old!

Today was fun. But I'm not gonna bore you with any details. Hari ini, sama kayak tahun lalu, dihabiskan dengan jalan2 sama keluarga. Bedanya, tahun ini minus ayah, yang seharian meeting trus tepar. Kado tahun ini... Got all I wanted, 'xept for Due Date DVD :))

Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue magazine and wallet from Sis

iPod nano 6th gen from ayah+bunda :)

Why Vanity Fair magz? Because I've been talking about it since a month ago, how expensive it is and how I want it so bad, and my sis was sick of it. So she decided to buy it for me as a birthday present.

Ucapan2 dari teman2 teramat sangat random! yang ngucapin normal cuma dikit. Bisa diitung pake jari. Pake upil juga bisa. Pilih aja versi ngitung yang disuka. Ada yang ngucapin semoga jodoh ama RDJ (amin), semoga langgeng sama RDJ (gak ngerti kapan pacarannya), semoga cepet nikah trus punya anak (saya masih remaja mas *dilempar ke moncong hiu*), semoga hilang semua kenistaan (sialan kau, Pik). Tapi alhamdulillah, yang paling banyak adalah ucapan semoga lulus sidang dengan nilai A (AMIN SEAMIN-AMINNYA).

My dear dear friends here, ngasi foto dan link video.
Dari Lala, berhubung di sini animated GIF gak bekerja, saya redirect anda ke tumblr saya.
Dari Farah,

Dari Dini, Youtube vid

As for me, i have only three wishes this year. For me to pass the thesis exam, of course. Have the opportunity to visit Aimie in England. The third one, to have a wonderful, wonderful year.

Early in the morning, it's a dawn of a new day

new hopes, new dreams, new ways

I open up my eyes and I open up my mind and

I wonder how life will surprise me today

(India.Arie - A Beautiful Day)

Happy birthday, self!

Be proud that you've made it this far

WHAT EVEN??!!

I don't have the energy to explain anything. Just read it by yourself.

First this, and then this.

This is it, government. I've had enough of you. Seriously, DON'T YOU HAVE A LOT OF MONEY IN YOUR PRIVATE ACCOUNTS ALREADY?! Do you want the people of this country to relive the 18th century? DUDE we're not gonna go anywhere if you keep doing this. You NEED to let the globalization comes in, letting the imported movies to get in here is one of them. and TEACH the people here how to FILTER!! THEY will decide HOW they're gonna filter it. YOU don't have the RIGHT to make that decision FOR them! Didn't Stephen Colbert's comment hit you hard?? HE STILL THINKS THAT WE BANG OUR HEADS TO COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!

This'll only make us even stronger pirated movie wise and that's not a good thing, tho i love them. And this'll only make local movies worse. I mean, we don't even have Hollywood movies to look up to now. You think this is a smart move? Think twice! Or maybe for you, THINK 10 TIMES!

If you're trying to kill me, at least have the guts to do it fast. Don't make me die slow and painful death like this. Right now, I could NOT hate you more!

God, I wanna get out of this country so bad. Please help me find the way to do so. :(